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  • me:

    -eating-

  • mom:

    oh my god stop eating you'll get fat

  • me:

    okay...

  • mom:

    oh before you leave, eat the last piece of steak, finish the last 20 pieces of pizza, eat 10 boxes of chicken nuggets and don't forget that piece of fried chicken over there

  • me:

    I thought you wanted me to stop eating like ???

the-sarcastic-robot:

drugs-in-ur-coffee:

selfish-cunts:

dqdbpb:

angelina jolie’s daughter

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and gwen stefani’s son

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both so cute 

Parenting done right

ugh. this is so wrong. how can you support someone letting their kid wear socks on grass. do you know how hard it is to wash those stains out?

I thought I was going to have to yell at someone for being a close minded asswipe but that was the biggest plot twist of my life. 

madqueenjes:

One night President Obama and his wife Michelle decided to do something out of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn’t too luxurious. When they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked the President’s Secret Service if he could please speak to the First Lady in private. They obliged and Michelle had a conversation with the owner. Following this conversation President Obama asked Michelle, “Why was he so interested in talking to you?” She mentioned that in her teenage years, he had been madly in love with her. President Obama then said, “So if you had married him, you would now be the owner of this lovely restaurant,” to which Michelle responded, “No. If I had married him, he would now be the President.”

Reason number 764 why I love Michelle Obama.

(Source: lvmrsmn)

odair:

dewgongo:

this cryptic message by aspiring trashbag nash grier roughly translates to “soon after i posted the video people wrote mean stuff about me and i don’t think i deserve it, so by saying sorry you should all forgive me and you can all go back to tonguing my white cis male asshole”, for those of you who had trouble understanding

Also I love how he avoided the word “homophobe”

avatardsherlockian:

killjoysandcastiel:

colesun:

sheetofsound:

ghoulishghosty:

also today some kid mentioned the red hot chili peppers and i was like “oh i love that band” and they were like “oh yeah name five songs by them” and i listed five of my favourites and he hesitated and then said “maybe you do like them”

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Why is it on a pieCE OF CHEESE

Why do you make your senteNCES CAPITALIZED AS THEY PROGRESS

because it proviDES A SENSE OF SUDDEN ANGER/REALIZATION

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(Source: himapapaftw)

leupagus:

riahhf:

#bigthighproblems

YOU CAN GET THEM REPAIRED THOUGH. There’s a place in NYC called Denim Therapy; I’ve had my favorite jeans fixed by them, where it was almost as big a hole as this one. They use some kind of really tough lattice-type cotton and so far (it’s been 6 months) the jeans are still perfect.

You just mail them in with a note explaining what you want fixed and they mail them back in like two weeks. It was like $15 too - SO WORTH IT since jeans are a bitch and a half to shop for.

(Source: heyriahh)

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